I think I have a preference for writing things down – being a reader – in a business context which is where Peter Drucker would ask people the question. However my theory is that I absorb information in the same detail whether I’m hearing it or reading it.
Are you a listener or a reader? He wrote about it a long time ago in The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done.
If you spend a bunch of time driving to go to and from wherevertheF*** you’re working you can lose your mind. Seriously, the winter they were measuring the snow accumulation in “Gronks” was probably when I started listening to books in the car. The next winter was when I discovered The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher. I appreciated listening to her narrate. Carrie definitely made the crazy commuting a little easier that year.
One of the more recent books I listened to was A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership. I pre-ordered that one. Yes, I’m an Audible subscriber.
If you’re old enough, you probably remember the first Bush administration and the arrival of Bill Clinton with the saying, it’s the economy, stupid. Specifically, James Carville’s phrase “The economy, stupid”.
It’s not still the economy. I think we’re to the point where we can safely say it’s “The empathy, stupid” which to me means, the lack thereof.
Good (manager) + empathy = great (manager). True in life and business.
When will we finally figure this out? Talk to each other instead of watching them talk at us. Gather facts and share them. Know where you’re money goes. Vote and know why you’re doing it. Look at the world around you.
Think about people who live differently than you do on a day-to-day basis – without focusing on who has greener grass – and see how that might feel.
That’s all it’s about. Lack of empathy is a bad thing, it creates insecurity. Having empathy makes us individually and collectively stronger. An individual who feels seen, heard and recognized for who they are will be more confident because of a foundation of understanding and connectedness.
Confidence without empathy can quickly become arrogance. Don’t get caught in the trap of believing whoever is louder because loud is only noisier.
The root of the word is confidence is con for a reason.
If the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one, I fess up: I suffer from The Impostor Syndrome. Now what?!
Finish the blog post from April of ’16.
From what I’ve gathered while giving myself this diagnosis, I’ve decided everything in my life can be looked at as an illness, or something from which I need to recover. The symptoms can be physical, like any other condition, illness, disorder or affliction.
But – yes there is a big but – this combopack of signs that manifest as a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach or the inability to catch a deep breath are mostly dredged up by self-doubt, questioning and comparing myself to (almost) anyone else.
False evidence appearing real or FEAR as my mom’s mom used to say.
I’m not suggesting denying feelings of fear. I’m testing out the opposite by turning around and staring fear or feelings in the face and saying “hey, what’s up?”
Carl Richards wrote an article called Learning to Deal With the Impostor Syndrome which at least opened my eyes to the fact that I’m far from alone. I also no longer believe that women experience this sense of fraud – or what I’ve referred to as professional deceit – more often than other genders but I doubt it.
For me, the remedy is equal parts undoing and building. Undo the ideas that I have to apologize for wanting to be treated equally to my mostly male counterparts in the work world. Build on the existing foundation of my values, competence and most importantly, confidence.
It’s also gotten clearer to me that I love helping others see how they can avoid, or cure themselves of, their own version of the syndrome.